Status: =S
Song: Where My Heart Used To Be - Martina McBride
Loving: =X

so many things rushing in my head... and i dont know why must it all come just as i am about to start uni!

• i realised a few things that i have been trying to deny all these while... and i really need to consider doing a full body checkup at the clinic ASAP.
• my body's just not functioning the way it should, and it is starting to worry and bug me!
• friendships are getting more and more complicated.
• the future seems blank at the moment and i dont know what to think, for fear that i may jinx it.
• relationships... Lizzy thinks something is about to happen, but i think otherwise (for the above reason).
• Lizzy thinks i'm just too pessimistic abt my future, but I think I'm just being realistic.
• I think i'm a nut.
• bank account is........... 'nuff said.
• I think i should start a new hobby - instead of collecting jewellery pieces that i dont use at all. but they're so pretty... (and i cant stand how they keep calling my name!)
• I want to watch Transformers - the sad me have not gone to Chermy to watch it all by myself, only cos there were a few change of plans last week
  

argh! i just need sleep - but how much help can that be? retail therapy is out of the question, or i'll be bankrupt.

i want to call someone, but stupid phone ran out of credit last night and i dont know why i forgot to recharge today... I need to talk to you, Nina (again)!!! :(

but other than that, i'm so in love with my new bracelet!! so pretty laaaa... imma getting another one, now that's for sure!

i think i need another necklace la...

aliceeeee... im hinting here! you know what i want for Christmas! :D

dang! I really must stop on my fixations on jewelleries!! :(




p/s: just when i thought i'm getting over it, it all comes back and i'm back to square one. this is PURE agony, i tell you!

Labels: random, rant

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Status: =)
Song: Where Are You Now - Britney Spears
Loving: =X

Another day gone... and before I know it, he'll FINALLY be here. =)

Ahh... today have been a good day. Good day at church, good food at morning tea, good catch up session with uni mates..

and it's always good to know the kids loved the presents. :)

Good to meet new people, good to see people feeling happier, and it was a jolly good day to FB stalk people too. :)

Another day come, another day gone.

Just disappointed about a few things, but it's better to be save than sorry. Sometimes, somethings are just not meant to be... yet.

ah... good day to get flowers, at least now my room has some sort of character.

good dinner, good movies, good quick catch up with the bestfriends.

overall, it's been a good day.

Tomorrow's itinerary:

• Wake up early and do laundry.
• Bake muffins for Alice and the muffin monster.
• Clean up the unit cos no one will be in over the weekend
• Pack for Thursday night
• Pick Alice up from the station
• Do grocery shopping
• Bake sponge cake for dessert
  
• Cook dinner - lamb chops, mash potatoes, brocolli/beans, grilled sweet potatoes andor carrot.
• WATCH STATE OF ORIGIN III!!
• watch Love Matters after that
• SLEEP EARLY!!!
  

wheee.. it'll be a good weekend. :)

Labels: Brisbane, frens, random

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Status: relieve
Song: Reason Why - Saving Jane
Loving: =X

Let's face it. Many think I'm pathetic and I have to face music.

I am pathetic.

For the last couple of months, I've had sleepless nights thinking what have I done wrong (or right) to pissed you off (or how I now decided i have done...). Over the years, I could figure you out (or at least, I taught I did), but this time round, I can't seem to put my finger into what I have done or said to you to have caused this silence.

Sure you missed a few things, and I know I pushed you away more times than you ignoring me... but I got to admit that your accusations of me never really 'talk' to you were true (as much as I hate to admit it) nor did I ever revealed to you the reason I pushed you away.

Matters of the heart? Far from it.

or maybe I'm over-reacting to the fact that you took back some of the things you said in the past and you denied others things.

but it's too tiring for me. In the past and in the present. I can't afford to spend so much time dwelling on it anymore. I said it a hundred times, yet I never do anything about it, but I am now. They will be proud of me... or maybe, they'll be celebrating me for finally going through with it.

I got a breakthrough tonight. It's over. I should have listened to them... and I'm giving this another week. It was your choice to pull the plug in this friendship and I'm just acting on it, since I am assuming that this is what you want.

I am just an adult with feelings, and it's too much energy trying to pretend it's ok, when it's not.

So, with that.. if nothing happens by this weekend, it's all over. This masquerade of a friendship between us is over. neither of us need the masks no longer. My job in your life is done - or maybe, I wasn't meant to be in it, to begin with, since we never saw eye to eye on anything, from studies to career options to personalities to life. We were just not meant to be friends...

I bid you farewell and I bid you good luck. May the good Lord be with you always. Should our paths cross in future, hey, maybe we have a shot at it again, but I don't see it happening.

I am stopping all the (not so subtle) hints and it will stop either of us from hurting. I'll stop my constant blocking and unblocking. I'll stop my deleting and re-accepting. I'll stop getting mad and forgiving. I'll stop saying sorry for something I never do. I'll stop being concern. I'll stop checking up on you. I'll stop making sure that you're alright and not trying to commit suicide. I'll stop being curious. I'll stop caring. I'll stop keeping myself updated on your wellbeing. I'll stop asking of you. I'll stop talking about you. I'll stop thinking about you. I'll stop trying to figure you out. I'll stop running away from you. I'll stop hiding. I'll stop thinking about the things you've said in the past.

I'll stop hurting. Maybe, just maybe, I'm just glad that what I almost felt never got further than that...

This is it, I'm letting it all go.

This is the end.

p/s: maybe, it's just to late to say sorry now, if you thought about it at all, actually.

Just my imaginary letter to someone.




or is it?


or maybe, it's all just my imagination.

Labels: emo stuff, jiwang, random, rant

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Status: =D
Song: Forever Love - Lee Hom
Loving: =X

And so... 2 weeks before uni resumes, life started. apa kan...

while the first few weeks of holidays i was pretty much bumming around and rotting at this new unit, last week was fun filled...

Finally, i managed to catch up with Alice and together, we went to satisfy our inner childhood. Disney on Ice was amazing (as always) and i was really overdose with cutesie-ness!!! little kids, with curls and ribbons, all dressed up like the princesses.

they were sooooo cuteeeee..!!

And i got to eat Korean food in Brissy and go to the markets and watch The Proposal (which btw, has got to be my new favourite movie.. and i'm SO CONVINCED I'm in love with Ryan Reynolds!).

And today.. Lizzy and I went to the Chocolate and Coffee Affair (presented by Lexus Brisbane) at Portside Wharf at Hamilton. It was awesome... Lindt chocolate at $2.50 a pack (as opposed to like $4-$5 each)? Good, quality cup of coffee at $2 each (as opposed to $4 a cup each)!

who wouldnt go crazy?

I'm soooo in love with the Italian hot chocolate. 70% Lindt chocolate + milk + sugar... yummmm...!!!

And that latte made by Scott (who was hawt, but unfortunately, still in high school) with love heart latte art was awesome.

man... the day just went on. and i'm so excited abt this week!!!

(Thursday to be precise!)

I'll post the pictures up when i'm free... and find out the reason of my contentment this weekend. :) i cant wait!!!!

Labels: Brisbane, frens, random

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Status: night-dreaming...?
Song: So In Love - All-4-One
Loving: =X

1. how old are you?
★ 22 12

2. are you single?
★ as can be

3. at what age do you think you'll get married?
★ 25+

4. do you think you'll marry the person you are with now?
★ if i marry someone im with now, then i wont be getting married... *gasps* what are trying to suggest??

5. if not, who do you want to marry?
★ THE one i marry la

6. who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?
★ my siblings & bestfriends & ...

7. do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
★ traditional church wedding

8. where do you plan to go on honeymoon?
★ i want to go to Rome. :) or Greece (or Ireland)

9. how many guests do you think you'll invite?
★ close family and friends... no point inviting people that are not close to you cos there's just no point.

10. will that include your exes?
★ what exes? if we're still good mates, maybe.. otherwise, somethings are best left the way they are

11. how many layers of cake do you want?
★ i dont know.. all i know is I dont want to have kek bantal ala Mawi. :P

12. when do you want to get married, morning or evening?
★ hmm... i would really love to be married under the stars, but we'll leave that for the reception. :)

13. name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
★ So In Love - All4One and Spend My Life With You - Eric Benet & Tamia (not only because FB said i will have that played for my wedding, but i have always loved this song!!) and Ave Maria and the wedding song..oh My Best Friend - Tim McGraw and Shania Twain's From This Moment. :)

14. do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon&fork?knife?
★ fine dining.. everyone deserves something special once in a while. DEFINITELY wont be a buffet-style dinner.

15. champagne or red wine?
★ champagne, as the celebration drinks after the church service and as the welcoming drinks before the reception and a selection of red and white wines to compliment the food for dinner. and champagne for toasts.

(yes, im influenced by the angmohs..)

16. honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
★ it all depends where we're going... :) and how far into the night we're partying.

17. money or household items?
★ household items (what? we're moving into a new hse what...)

18. how many kids would you like to have?
★ i wanted 2, but mum and pa said no. at least 3. wahlauuu...

19. will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?
★ my honeymoon?? errrr...

20. whose wedding plan would you like to know next.
★ yours lohr...

Labels: meme, random

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Status: ...
Song: Undignified - David Crowder Band
Loving: =X

After you're done, repost and erase my
answers and replace them with your own.

1. What is your best friends name?
+ Alicia & AYK

2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
+ I dont know and i dont bother checking... why would u want to know anyway?

3. What are you listening to right now?
+ Cry for Love - Michael W Smith

4. Whats your favorite number?
+ 7, 13, 265 (duh!)

5. What was the last thing you ate?
+ marshmallows

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
+ red, pink or baby blue

7. How is the weather right now?
+ cold?

8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?
+ i cant remember..

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
+ height.. HAHA!

10. Do you have a significant other?
+ no

11. Favorite TV show?
+ Talkin' 'bout Your Generation, Packed to the Rafters, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, MasterChef

12. Siblings?
+ an elder sister and a younger brother

13. Height?
+ less than 5'1" i know. short

14. Hair color?
+ dark brown with natural highlights

15. Eye Color?
+ brown..i think.

16. Do you wear contacts?
+ clear

17. Favorite Holiday?
+ Christmas hols

18. Month?
+ dec.. no school/uni... =D and its Christmas..(and the end of the year)

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
+ YES

20. What was the last movie you watched?
+ Music & Lyrics (on TV)

21. Favorite Day of the Year?
+ depending

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
+ yes

23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
+ no way

24. Hugs or Kisses?
+ both, please

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
+ chocolate drink, vanilla ice cream. :P

26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
+ dont know

27. Who is most likely to respond?
+ no one

28. Who is least likely to respond?
+ everyone else

29. What books are you reading?
+ cant remember the title, but the one i got from Peter and Karen for my birthday.

30. Piercings?
+ 2 - one on each ear

31. Favorite movies?
+ far too many

32. Favorite football Team?
+ football as it NRL or football as in soccer?? :P Queensland for NRL and i havent been catching up on soccer. =S

33. what were u doing before this?
+ burning DVDs

34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
+ a mix

37. Dogs or cats?
+ dogs..cats are too annoying!

38. Favorite flower?
+ champagne roses, double coloured roses, calla lilies, baby breaths

39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
+ like what ohr?

40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
+ yeap

41. Have you ever loved someone?
+ dont know... have I?

42. Who would you like to see right now?
+ you!

43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
+ yeap yeap

44. Have you ever fired a gun?
+ plastic gun can?

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
+ i have my moments

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
+ righty

47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
+ two

48. Are you missing someone?
+ yes :(

49. Do you have a Tattoo?
+ no way!

50. Anybody on myspace that you'd go on a date with?
+ YES!!! =)

Labels: meme, random

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Status: randomness
Song: Above All - Michael W Smith
Loving: =X

Let's be random..

Random thought no.1:

I think the world is a place where everyone sucks up to one another, no matter how much you try to deny that you do it. In fact, the more you deny it, the more you do it. It's life a cycle that never ends.

And yes, I'm guilty of it too.

Random thought no.2:

I wonder why do we really wonder about people's opinion about us, especially if that person is someone who is our biggest competition or enemy. It's like the opinions we have on ourselves is not good enough. we need someone else who we think is better than us to think that we are better than them.

Confusing, no?

Random thought no.3:

Does friendship really lasts forever?

Random thought no.4:

I wonder if we do mean everything we say. I know I'm guilty sometimes (if not at most times) when I say something (try positive things for now, the negatives can be later) and I don't mean it at all.

Like for example, saying 'I.Love.You' to someone and not meaning it at all (erm.. for the record, never said that to anyone, as in the opposite sex.. unless of cos, when I'm joking) or saying that I will keep in touch (and not doing anything about it - fine, i know im guilty with that.. and im trying NOT to be a stranger to anyone, somehow).

Hey, you do it to! Don't deny it!

Random thought no.5:

Why is it that we also miss the little things in life that never seem important, only to realise when it's too late that the little things in life are what makes life worthwhile?

Random thought no.6:

Why is it that I'm having random thoughts?

Random thought no.7:

Why is it that when I drink cheap coffee (i.e. instant coffee etc), I get sleepy and have the biggest migrain...

BUT

when I have the Nepresso coffee, I'm fine?

Random thought no.8:

Why is it that some people will go all the way to annoy you or say something that's totally sarcastic, and make you feel that there's a need to confront them, but when u have the opportunity, you just cant seem to say anything.

Yes, i am truly guilty of this too, but just by reading something he said (or rather, typed) got me so annoyed and i really dont know how to put it. Some people are just sarcastic.

And trust me, when you figure out who the person is, you'll be like 'really? him?' cos it's not who you think. Everyone thinks he's such a great guy, but after knowing him for as long as I did (i.e a few years), i dont see how he is so great cos all he does or say to me is to make me feel inefficient, guilty and unsuccessful - someone who has nothing to offer, and will never achieve anything.

or maybe, i'm just grumpy. 'nuff said.

Random thought no.9:

I wonder why has the whole H1N1 virus being blown out of proportion all over the world. I am NO medical genius and I'm still cursing that viral flu for making Melbourne the no.1 state for swine flu, but still... there's MORE people dying from a common flu than swine flu.

PLUS it's winter Down Under, ANYONE and EVERYONE can catch the bug - in fact, i was hit by it a few weeks ago!

Random thought no.10:

I think the whole thing is a conspiracy!

Random thought no.11:

What has the world become? By being too child-centred... have they ignored the pros and cons of doing so? Pros? Children are protected and better cared for (in some cases).

Cons? Adults are treated like morons and children are treated like they will never grow up. In fact, children are so sheltered, they end up like little princesses or like they rule the world (boys and girls included).

At the end of the day, who is the child and who becomes the adult?

Random thought no.12:

I think the media should really stop bugging celebrities or anyone in the spotlight. It's harassment, and i dont blame these pissed out ppl from hitting the media ppl - they should really learn to jaga their own tepi kain. I mean, celebrity or not, these people are still human beings who have their own thoughts, their rights to speak out, their needs to satisfy and a right to live whatever life they want to.

What gives the media the rights to rob them off their rights? Do they know the meaning of 'confidentiality'? Just because they are 'public' people doesnt mean they have lay out EVERYTHING in their life to become public knowledge?

So what if Chris Brown is dating someone who looks like Rihanna? I bet half the male population in the world dates people who look like their previous girlfriends! WHo cares if Jennifer Aniston failed in another relationship? I can bet that there are more people who go through more relationships than her and i believe, eventually, she'll meet someone - just like you and I will.

Oh, and I sure bet now that the media has highlighted the fact that wife of the guy who is the Head of MI6-to-be will be getting lots of online hits now that the media has made it headlines that she has facebook. -.-"

Bottomline is... they are are HUMAN BEINGS too, just like you! Leave the alone and just shut up with the rumours already. what do u think it feels like to be in their shoes?!

Paparazzi's should be sued for half the problems of the world, really.

P/s: As much as I love Ben Adams, I don't think I'll appreciate it if the paps thinks its great to write about what Ben Adams eat, think, says, who he sees, how many times he farts or how many times he needs to go to the washroom as front page news. Can't the paps/journalists just concentrate on their career as
musicians/actors/etc?

pp/s: I think the media is great & i dont have a problem with reporters but what I'm trying to point out here is not the media at large, but mostly on the paparazzi. they should respect others before trying to demand things from them. i mean, why do they think that it's cool to stalk these 'famous' people? so fun meh? if the table turns on them.. they will sue. apa la.. think first la!

Random thought no.13:

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook!

Random thought no.14:

I think the world is a nut case. Where or what is the truth to everything that's going on in the world. who is right and who is wrong? to some, one party is right and the other is wrong. to others, no one is right and no one is wrong.

Random thought no.15:

Can't the world just leave the dead to die in peace? Lady Di has died like 12 years ago but everyone still wants to dig her remains out of the grave and figure out how she died. She died and is in a better place - when will they learn that?

or maybe, i'm just missing something.

and since, we're on this subject, I also think that people are so two faced. One minute they go about the wrong doings of Michael Jackson and he's childish and a perpretrator, the next minute they are mourning his death and proclaiming how much a legend he has become over the years and before you know it, they try to make money out of the free tickets they got for his memorial.

When will they ever learn?!

and to conclude my random thoughts for the night,

Random thought no.16:

These are all really just random thoughts I came about today. There's no answers to any of these cos they are just THAT complicated. :) Have a good week and have fun. I still have 2 weeks of holidays left.. argh. me go nuts.

And also, I wonder what's missing.

Labels: random

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